Speed dating mentoring
I mean, men have a certain way of thinking through things generally. And they’re involved in a job 30 to 50 hours a week that keeps them away from focusing on their home, their husbands, their children. I said, well, didn’t you just come away from having coffee with a bunch of friends? Define that distinction between friendship and mentoring. One of the things I do to knock down that barrier which is there for women when I teach this, is to say,you are influencing someone already. And it’s not stories about how much we’ve been great and how awesome we are and how we’ve conquered it and how marvelous our marriage is.And why do women - mentoring seems to like - I’m too busy to do that. Regardless if you’re doing intentionally or not, someone is being influenced by your behavior, by your walk, by your talk. And what we need to do when we’re doing this kind of discipling and training as older women is we just show up and do life. In your book, you talk about the need for vulnerability. One thing I learned when I started working on this program that intimidates a lot of women about mentoring or discipling other women is doing it by themselves. So what you may not feel like you’re strong at - say, maybe Bible study is not something you’re good at but you’re really good at hospitality, so you mentor some young women with a partner who comes in who loves to do Bible studies.And at that time, I think that’s when the Holy Spirit said, well, you need to make this happen here at your church. And I told God, I said, as soon as I get this thing wrapped up, that’s my next calling.And God was like, no, it needs to happen at the same time.And I began getting calls from other churches within the year asking me what we were doing with this ministry. And I believe, in studying this as long as I have these years, it really goes against the biblical model of church family. You know, Joneal, I was talking to Jean about this. I was hoping that Jean would be able to join, but we’re going to have other women for our web extra, so... I just - you know, I thought I’d be great for you to interact with them. But for those listening who want to hear more from other women and talking with you, you can go to the website and you can catch that web extra with a little more dialogue, women-to-women sort of speak.And so I developed a program where I could teach others how to do Titus 2 mentoring. But with Jean, so she had gone out for coffee with her girlfriends. Joneal Kirby and several Focus on the Family female staff members discuss the life-changing benefits a young Christian woman can experience when she is mentored and discipled by an older woman of faith.When I’m lonely I wish that there was somebody that I could call and feel like I’m not bothering them, not intruding on their time.
And I looked around and asked myself the question, are we really doing this? And realized that we probably would if we knew what to do.
And she just chewed her out and basically was abusive. And she said, you know, Kay, you’re my spiritual mom. I told her to go to the Christian bookstore and pick up a children’s book and just start reading that children’s Bible and learn those stories because she wanted to be able to tell them to her children.
So that was the kind of practical things that we helped her with. You need to be able to - we all do, frankly, but men are more loners.
That’s what I’m hearing you say, that vulnerability is key to mentoring. So the key to the success I believe to Heartfelt has been putting you with a Heartfelt team. And then there may be another person on your team who’s extremely sociable and easy to talk to people and is a good conversationalist.
But take us through a healthy mentoring perspective. So with your team of heart moms, you’re able to really reach the lives and the heart of younger women on a variety of different levels because you’re not doing it all alone.