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In other words, there's often a lot for them to "unlearn" in recovery.
In Twelve Step programs, and especially in Steps Four through Ten, PIRs learn how to develop healthy relationship skills.
Author Karen Nagy outlines Steps Four through Ten: the "Relationship Steps." Mending relationships that were broken due to addiction is an ongoing task in recovery.When I mentioned to my friend Mark that I was writing this chapter, he said, "Yikes! " He then proceeded to tell me about his own struggles and achievements as he worked on each of these "relationship" Steps.Sometimes these Steps take a long time to work through the first time, and because recovery and relationships are ongoing realities, these are Steps that are revisited time and time again.A business that tries to sell useless or damaged things goes broke; a PIR who holds on to useless and unhealthy thoughts, feelings, and behaviors also goes "broke" and risks relapse.The Big Book, page 64, says that "resentment is the 'number one' offender," and that it destroys more addicts than anything else does.