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They all said the same thing: Dudes just don’t bounce back after they get their heart broken the way women do.
Recently I asked my fiancé (miraculously, I landed a guy who pines after me!
And not to his high school sweetheart, but to someone he probably met after we dated (but not long after).
I went to her Instagram looking for answers to impossible questions like “Why her and not me?
When she ends the relationship, this rejection could hit his confidence and self-esteem hard.”“I have many images of men sobbing and even curling up in fetal positions in my office over a relationship loss — even after they were the one who was unable to commit earlier on,” Coleman goes on.
“Men are the ones who more often bring in an email where they have taken one line and interpreted it as a reason for hope, even when it is clear there is none.”Coleman has also found that often, men are less willing or able than women to take accountability for what went wrong in the relationship.“[Men] often struggle with accepting responsibility for their part in the breakup, instead seeing her leaving as an unfair decision that they did not deserve,” says Coleman. In Brown’s estimations, it comes down to knowing just how attached you are to your partner — a cognizance that may more easily manifest in women than men.“Women tend to recover faster because they know how attached they are to their partners, so the shock isn't as great,” says Brown.
Then there was Franz, my love from Germany, who as soon as his internship in the U.
S was finished, reunited with his ex back in Heidelberg.
And if men are hung up on past loves, their new or prospective partners probably don’t want to behave the way I sometimes did.
I was surprised to find that everyone I talked to not only concurred that men and women handle breakups differently, but that quite often (in heterosexual relationships, at least) the man has a more difficult time coping.“I have always had a theory that is related to males traditionally being the pursuers,” Toni Coleman, a psychotherapist, relationship coach and divorce mediator.
“They like the pursuit and seem to place more value (at least initially) on a woman that is beyond their reach.
Coleman advises that we don’t beat ourselves up for trying to help, but also strongly recommends backing off from potential partners who are clearly not ready to move on from a breakup, no matter how long ago.“If a woman feels the need to help him get over her, there is a problem, and one only he can solve,” says Coleman.
“She should suggest he do that and get back to her when/if he has, and if she is still open to it, they can try again.”I never did talk to Brad again, but I heard he got married.