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A lot of real-world dating advice tells men to be more confident, but apparently hemming and hawing a little works well online.

It could be that appearing unsure makes the writer seem more vulnerable and less threatening. But either way: men should be careful not to let the appearance of vulnerability become the appearance of sweaty desperation: , 23%)!

Our negative correlation list is a fool’s lexicon: was also a successful word, but much less so (33%).

Scientifically, this is because it’s a little evil sounding.

It's presumptuous to list a bunch of unrequested information about yourself in your message, because doing so assumes that this person already thinks of you as a candidate.

Instead, as with good tip #5, use the message to ask about him/her.

You might think that words like are nice things to say to someone, but no one wants to hear them.

An online dating message is not the same (thank GOD) as a job application.

But ideally you should just disbelieve the whole thing.

It can help your love life, and, besides, if there really was a god, wouldn’t first messages Though this post talks in detail about the content of people’s messages on Ok Cupid, all messages have been anonymized, with sender and recipient data and all IP and timestamp information stripped out.

Talking about specific things that interest you or that you might have in common with someone is a time-honored way to make a connection, and we have proof here that it works.

We’re presenting just a smattering: in fact every “niche” word that we have significant data on has a positive effect on messaging., no doubt because of its adverbial meaning of “to a fair degree; moderately” also helps male messages.

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