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Frances is here to help us see things as they really are instead of how we want to see them.Below, she takes us through a relationship reality check to keep your head clear at every stage of the relationship: On the first date...It's not about anti-feminism and saying that women can't make the first move; it's about .You know how you feel after a date, but, "If you proactively short-circuit a man's ability to chase you by chasing him, then you can't see his level of interest," Frances explains.

If you're both looking for the same thing, you've made it through checkpoint number one.*Curveball #1: The guy who texts you nonstop, way too soon.*It's good if a guy isn't afraid to get in touch, but if he launches into constant contact before you've even been on a date, it's a bad sign.

Frances' first-date trick (known as her "Heartache Prevention Question") is simply to ask him, point blank, if he believes in X (X being your ultimate dream and goal, be it monogamy, marriage, having a family, or running away to join the circus).

It may seem simple, but it's incredibly effective if you're prepared to really listen to his answer."On a first date, a guy's gonna basically say, ' I don't believe in love' or ' I'll never get married,'" says Frances.

Or "he'll say, ' Why don't I cook dinner for us at my place? The best way to not get into a sexual situation that you're not ready for and keep him on simmer is: Do not invite him indoors or go indoors with him on those first three dates."On the 4th date and beyond...

If all goes well through the first three dates, he's courting you and making plans, following up, asking questions about you, and says he wants the same things in life as you, then it's time to move on to the next phase of dating.

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