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Karen Swindells, 27, who has epilepsy, says a guy once dumped her right after she had a major brain surgery intended to reduce her seizures.“He felt like nothing positive was going on in my life at that time,” said Swindells, who works at a college bookstore and is now married. A few have been major, but most are small and stop her functioning for no longer than a few minutes.After she has one, she’s often too tired to do much else, which has ended dates and prevented sexual activity.It makes the words ‘til death do us part’ have even more meaning.”Even if someone is interested in them, the chronically ill may not want to subject anyone else to their disease—the potentially debilitating symptoms and depression that follows.

On more ordinary days, she experiences stomach issues and a chronic cough, among other non-terminal-but-annoying symptoms caused by medicines that suppress her illnesses.Sharing too soon may scare the person off and sharing too late may lead to a lack of trust.Amber Miller, a 26-year-old college student in Oklahoma City, was waiting to tell Josh about her type one diabetes. So when he didn’t hear from her for a month while she was recovering from a diabetic coma, he expected the worst.“Josh thought I broke up with him because none of my family told him about the coma and he didn’t hear from me for a month,” Miller said.The more extreme physical chronic illnesses can make dating seem unrealistic or especially difficult, causing people like Pierce to think, “don’t even tempt me.”One major issue chronically ill people face in dating is disclosure.The question of when to share the illness with a prospective partner fills online forums, videos, articles, blogs, conferences, and discussions.

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